March 2010
54 posts
We would have been safe. If I could rewind, the buildings would fall back up to the sky. And the alphabet would go z, y, x, w. We’d start with “I love you.” and end with “There once was a man and a woman…”. We would have been safe. I’ve buried it all so deep under my skin, that the weight eventually traveled down to my toes. My feet heavy. I wanted to...
Every morning, she spills another hard truth to her husband, as they are still lying under white sheets. He doesn’t react, just nods and kisses her forehead. She lived a life unheard.
Through the window, my palm melts with the sunlight. Each reflection creates a blind spot. “Today’s a day to swim in the sun.” you said. You melted to a puddle on the ground.
(This was written last year.)
You have beautiful cheekbones. Unable to touch. Unreachable connection. Dangerous, standing on the edge. You make me want to jump. Thoughts of you are welcoming, warm. You have a lovely jawline, which I’d love to press my fingertips up against.
“You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is all your own.”
– D.M. Dellinger
Have you ever had a dream continue months later? And you recognize some of the people in them, like really recognize, not just in the dream world, truly recognize them? Who are these people?
Ya know, it takes two people who genuinely care about one another to feel the actual pure feeling of love rattle their bones and push through their veins. I shake with warmth.
Sometimes, both our ghosts come out to play. I wish they would just stay indoors. “Let us walk without you.”
Love Soon by John Mayer
Sometimes, I write letters to people with no intention of giving it to them. Why do I do this?
“If everyone loves you, you’re not doing anything worth mentioning.”
– k.e.
Sleep is always impossible. My mind races. It never stops. I think that if you were near me every night, my eyes would shut and my brain would pause.
The time went very quickly. And I actually mean that. It wasn’t that it “felt” like time went quickly; it actually did. The hands on her clocks were moving faster than they ever had before. Everyone scurried, she was the only one standing still. “I want to move” her brain pushed through her delicate lips. She now knew what it felt like to be empty and whole at the...
It’s those nights that kill sometimes. You know the ones I’m talking about, where all you feel you can do is breathe, and you can’t even do that well. They are the ones that eat away at you like turpentine on fresh acrylic. Wondering. Wondering. Wondering. They always come in three’s. What is going on up there? A conversation with yourself, aye? Some nights are nights for...
It’s true; I have restless nights this far from your hands.
When things happen to people, all sorts of things, it can really be just about anything, they radiate light. A specific type of light. And not necessarily because they’re happy or sad. But because they have a picture caught inside them, lodged in their mind. Because they were there and you weren’t. And because you only got a very small piece of it. And because all you can do is shrink...
Listen
“You’re the only one that makes my blood boil. Pump. Run. Race.”
– a.k.
I love when people bite their lips, I’m more interested if someone bites their lip between words, because I feel they are really feeling what they’re saying in some way. And maybe that’s a secret of mine, maybe it has no worth, but I feel like it’s just part of who I am and how my personality is. I’m still not making sense. I guess what I’m saying is I’m composed of a lot of...
Breathing patterns. Speaking sentences, letters, books, volumes; lips sealed securely, as if to never speak once more. I could see the gap that was felt, pushing hastily. But I know greatness radiates from his eyes.
I went outside to enjoy the sun and on my walk to the center of my yard, my usual spot, I found a whole bunch of blue feathers. They were clearly from a lost battle. I’m using them to make a headband. Oh, and I’ve never been so happy to have tan lines. I’m so glad the sun is finally here.
I feel like love is a secret that not everyone knows. When spoken about, words soften and trail off. It is not hand in hand or lips on lips. And it is not spoken words. It’s defined by the things others don’t see and don’t understand.
Untitled (New song) by John Mayer
a: I don't remember the last time I slept.
t: Ahh sleep, boy.
a: I don't like to when you're not here though. It doesn't feel right.
Yesterday while I was driving ; sunroof over my head, both front windows open, I drove past a very old woman jogging. She was wearing a yellow sweater and white pants. She was waving to every car that drove by her, a huge smile beaming across her face. I waved back to her, she seemed so pleased. She was so happy to be living the life she was. I hope I’m like her at that age, minus the...
I am absolutely loving this beautiful weather, it is just a sure sign of what is to come. The past week has been really nice in a lot of ways. This weather and your smile puts me in the best of moods.
t: There's a song by The Album Leaf that has the same beat as your heart.
a: You know it?
t: I've rested my head upon your chest enough times to know it.
a: Wish you were listening now.
One day I will be nowhere near here. One day will be my last day seeing this house. One day, I will have a family, a real family, we will love each other with a love that you have never known and I will look back and know I made it out untainted. And I will smile. And I will breathe. And I will let go entirely. Because I am so much more than this name.
I could sit for seconds, for minutes, for hours and feel absolutely comforted by your silence, your ease, your honest eyes. No time with you is wasted, even the time filled with nothing; when your laughter accompanies mine.
You’re not a one layered man. Your layers shine through your skin and radiate from your eyes. And you’ve seeped into me deeply.
A: My bed remains empty even as I lay in it. It's hopeless.
T: You need a body pillow to hug. Just so your arms are filled.
A: I had one as a child. I don't want one if it's not you.
I’ve always had a busy mind and busy thoughts. There has always been something etching in my mind. I’ve found the rhythm and rhyme to my madness. He’s somethin’ else and he doesn’t even realize it.
On the Nature of Daylight by Max Richter
The hot morning glow poured through your window, brushing up against the small curves of my body; my hips bones, my waist, my shoulders. My skin felt warm and moist, as if the sun rays were melting onto me all morning, soaking into my pores; my body a sponge. My eyes burnt at the bright sun and closed tightly. It was quiet. A comfortable quiet. All I could hear was the sound of your breathing and...
T: Is the back of my shoulder more comfortable than the front?
A: What?
T: ...because there's no collar bone.
A: It's you. It's comfortable.
“Madness is the key to living.”
– BK
In May of 2009, I received a fortune cookie. I just break them, I never eat them. I don’t like how they taste. My fortune read, “Romance comes to life this year in a very unusual sort of way.” I still have that fortune taped to the inside of my car.
The other night I slept with the strangest of thoughts. I woke up to feel so incredibly at ease and uneasy at the same time. What if some people we see aren’t even there? We’d never even know it. Like ghosts that just float around us and we don’t recognize that we’re the only ones that can see them. I must sound all sorts of crazy, but it could be happening and we’d...
A: Love it. You're beautiful.
T: Love you. We're beautiful.
A: Mmm together.
T: Exactly.
I feel like I met you in an emergency room. As they drew blood, my face grew white, I felt faint. The doctors faces blurred above me, the light was dimming from my eyes. Your firm hands grasped mine for a moment, you spoke and your voice made me breathe. I awoke again to your face smiling next to me, and you could only laugh. “I think I love you.” The terror of the night and the...
