June 2010
49 posts
An older man caught me watching him and his wife from afar on the subway Monday night. He smiled at me. I couldn’t help but watch; they were so in love.
“There she is. My light.”
I feel like there are so many things I could say, and I keep holding them back. It’s all good words, good sentences, good meaning. Whenever I see you I have so many things that I want to say, but the second we’re face to face, all of these words come traveling to my brain; to my tongue, all at once and get so tangled. You know what I would say, want to say. I say it in pieces, hoping...
For some reason, I’m terrible with numbers. Whenever anything has numbers involved in it, I’ll surely mess it up. I get so anxious and stressed. I will never understand.
A Song For Milly Michaelson by Thrice
when the air is too hot for comfort we stay up late & you listen as i tell you how to measure the length of all the organs in your body.
I used to be envious of couples in love. Now I’m part of one of those couples. Sometimes life gives you a good hand of cards.
I stood in front of the ocean, allowing the waves to drift onto my feet. I felt small and inadequate. I felt so far from the one thing that holds me in my center. There were no tall buildings, no movement, no noise. Just this monster in front of me; waiting for me to come close enough to pull me with it. I felt so far, yet something in me felt so close.
T: Thank you for everything last night. I'm so happy with you.
A: No one else but you, darling.
I get scared sometimes. Lately, everything seems more real. More genuine. More everything. And I admit that I’m shaken. That my heart is beating at a faster pace but at a quieter volume, afraid that if you hear how much you affect it that you’ll pull away. You are absolutely what I want.
I don’t think anyone ever loved you like I do. With every gesture and every word.
I don’t like when love is forced. If it’s forced, I never feel it. Like with family. This is going to sound so twisted but we’re forced from birth to love those whom we call our family. And today I was thinking that it’s a tad bit of bullshit. I love based on the way someone sees me. On the worth they hold in my life and I in theirs. I don’t love many. Maybe I sound...
T: The stars miss you out here.
A: The lights here can't wait to meet you.
“Part of me is made of glass,
and also, I love you.”
– Nicole Krauss (The History of Love)
I’m giving up soda. I’m giving up advil. I’m keeping you.
Want 1 Want 2 Want 3 Want 4
Hold on tight. This world keeps spinning. No stopping. So we have to keep walking, keep moving, keep thinking. But we can walk side by side and I’ll whisper you things that I would never tell another. We’ll hold our chins high and laugh all the while. This world isn’t as big and bad as it seems, especially when you’re next to me.
Ljósið by Ólafur Arnalds
smitten [smit-n] –adjective 1. struck, as with a hard blow. 2. grievously or disastrously stricken or afflicted. 3. very much in love.
This is real.
I’m taking a shot at writing a rough draft for a short screenplay of sorts. I’m doing that throughout this week, we’ll see how that goes. Anthony told me “Don’t think, just write” which is usually what I do, but today when I woke up I had too much running through my head and wanted to plan everything. I have some ideas. We’ll see how it goes.
I’ve decided poison ivy is the devil. And that I want a cute summer hat. I’d also like a teleportation machine. And maybe some frozen yogurt.
Bruises by Chairlift
I drove home from Hoboken this morning. I drove past a car pulled to the side of the road. In front of it was a deer that was still fidgeting and breathing. A doe. She sat there helplessly just waiting for an outcome. She had the loveliest eyes. But she also had the saddest eyes.
That felt right. Last night I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. What a rare feeling that is. How rare. And yet, I’ve been feeling those types of random bursts of thought more in the past year than I have my whole life. How do we know where we should be at every moment? We don’t. And we don’t have specific places our feet should imprint. But sometimes, just...
I’m doing the best that I can.
My stomach is in so many knots right now. I feel absolutely sick in ever aspect. I want a warm voice not a cold one. I feel like I’m trying to walk up a hill and every step I take up brings me two steps back down.
I have battle wounds from today.
— “He has such a passion for it that I have to take a step back and observe. He’s brilliant. And I’m not just saying that because I love him.”
This summer has already been an interesting one. I’ve left a job and gotten a new, better one. (Which is great. I start on Tuesday.) I’ve been out adventuring and doing things every single day and night. I’ve loved a lot already, felt a lot already and learned a lot already. I’ve gotten sunburn and have a tan already. I’ve surrounded myself with the greatest friends...
My little love, my love. I held your hand. And off you went. Some lights, so bright. The last thing I saw, your back. Muscles relaxed. Heart beating fast. For you. Come back, come back.
Last night, my Step-mom told me that she realizes I’m a lot like she was when she was my age. She had a terrible look of sadness in her eyes when she said it. I don’t know how I feel about that.
Lasso by Phoenix
I’m really going to miss your eyes. And your nose. And your hands. My heart is with you under the city lights.
Knowing You're There
It was raining, heavily. His head hung down as if shielding his face from the sky was a necessity. He trudged along the sidewalk, his boots scraping the ground. Slish, Slosh. Smack, Smack. He didn’t know of beauty or magic or love in anything; except in her. He would always see her at the convenience store at the end of his street. Not really the place to meet such a lovely creature. The...
Littlest Things by Lily Allen
T: Let's make smores.
A: Let's make love.
“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.” — Lisa Kleypas...
If your past is your present, there is no looking to a future. So push the past where it belongs because if you don’t and you allow your present; your now, to be engulfed by your past, the future will never be as it should be. Let loose. Let your arms be carried and your thoughts develop. Let things grow and change.
