July 2010
65 posts
You are my ex for a reason. And that reason could involve the fact that you act like a dramatic girl. Ha.
Having someone restrict living makes me want to live even more. One day you’ll see. One day your actions all these years will come back to bite you so hard in the ass, as I stand on my two feet, tall and smiling. I can’t wait for that moment.
Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michaelson
chlobola:
these are my honest words:
nobody compares to you.
Patterned to my shoulders, scattered across my small frame. A group of celestial bodies. You can sprinkle your fingertips; connecting, lining, unveiling. Shapes; whole other worlds. You the Astronomer. I have constellations on my shoulders. Patterns, your studies to discover. Freckles to the stars. Shoulders to the sky.
I had a dream that I was out in a field. In the field, I was in a bathtub filled with wax and it was slowly falling apart. I was panicking. I stepped out of the bathtub and the grass turned into hundreds upon hundreds of rabid wolves……..What?
Thank you for making me soup last night.
The Girl by City and Colour
First off, I’m going to start by saying that I am tired of hospital beds and beeping sounds and my kidneys. I am tired of worrying about my own health. I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me that this will just keep happening, though I will try my hardest to keep it from doing so. Second note on my mind, I have absolutely been terrible with writing lately. I start so...
Katie: If you need one of my kidneys you can have one!
Me: We have such a good friendship.
Katie: Plus, I'm O+. Anyone can have ma shit.
Me: Hahahahaha.
I will never understand allowing constant fear or constant mistrust to blur your way. That is no way to live. That is no way to love.
My kidneys are both on my right side and fused. They might be acting up again, we’ll see. The thought of ever having to get one taken out would be really sad to me because they refer to them as “Cuddling kidneys” and they would be ruining their love.
Can’t Help Falling in Love covered by Ingrid...
I love downloading new music. I also love your back muscles. I find them so sexy.
Haust by Ólafur Arnalds
We danced in your kitchen the other night. The only music was our breathing. I was dying, melting inside and out. But you knew that.
I love writing in books. I love reading books that have been written in. I feel that just because the words in them are printed permanently doesn’t mean they should remain untouched. I think that writing, scribbles, circling, highlighting and underlining show love. I will always write in books.
I can tell by my car mirrors which days I sink down into myself. I always have to adjust them all back up to my normal eye level the next day.
I can’t handle nights when it rains. I can’t handle the clouds, or even the sun most days. I can’t handle my mind and the absurd things it tells me or doesn’t tell me. I can’t handle the dreams I dream and how I wake up with my body completely numb.
Wrap your arms around me and tell me it’s okay. Please.
- Read “Looking for Alaska” by John Green. - Read “The History of Love” by Nicole Krauss. - Find some new music for my ipod. - Find the perfect new creative writing journal. - Sew new buttons onto my high-waisted gray shorts.
I hate feeling foolish, especially when I shouldn’t.
Home (RAC remix) by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic...
Your steps closed in. louder. closer. sweeter. Loose change; jingling in your pocket Your voice was warm, bouncing back and forth in my head. Eyes opening with the softest gaze. Good morning.
Hearing your voice at 3:50 in the morning was a nice surprise and is always welcome. I adore you.
(I find it interesting how reading an old piece of my writing can make me feel more now than when I had originally wrote it. Writing is silly that way.) Your teeth are chattering, but this dark feels warmer than it has in weeks. If I said I didn’t want to go, would you let me wait? Because there’s a numbness at the base of my abdomen telling me I shouldn’t travel too far. We’re older but not...
I keep having nightmares. For a girl who rarely even has dreams, these frequent nightmares just don’t make any sense to me. I fell asleep at midnight, woke up at three in the morning and couldn’t fall back asleep until six. I would like more normal sleeping patterns back. My body can’t handle these dysfunctional ones much longer.
Want 1 Want 2
Ohhh and yesterday marked 11 months for Anthony and I. I like him more than you.
Buying lacy things is absolutely one of the greatest feelings. And today I bought many lacy things. I love and appreciate you Vera Wang. And so will my boyfriend. Hah.
Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron & Wine
t: All I want is for you to come hold me.
a: I wish I could always give you what you want.
t: Your love is what I want.
a: That's silly, you have that. Always will, deary.
Want.
I’ve grown to love the scar on my lip. I hated it for the longest time.
The building next to where I work had an animal adoption day today. There were so many cats and dogs. So of course, like the animal lover I am, I couldn’t resist and ended up strolling through and making sure I gave attention to every critter. It was so incredibly sad. I wanted to somehow fit all of them in my car and bring them home. After about ten minutes I walked out. An older man...
“I do. And it’s wonderful and terrible
all in the same breath.”
– t.e.h.
chlobola:
i like that i can be classy when i want to be, and i can be a wreck if i want to be. it really all depends on what nights you catch me. because im everything, i am all the pieces of the world and i rearrange them every second i breathe. it just matters when you find me, which way the pieces are assembled. it just matters which seconds you choose to blink. because there are tons of...
Last night I had the worst, most realistic nightmare I have ever had. I woke up trembling, with watered eyes, feeling like I was about to get sick.
I went to an antique shop today. An old man that was there recited an e.e. cummings poem to me.
